Leadership and Loneliness

Globally, we face an epidemic of loneliness, there is stigma and shame to being lonely and no one wants to talk about it. 

Loneliness is a lack of meaningful connection with other people and is crippling to our health and society.

What does loneliness have to do with leadership? It has an impact on staff health, and the productivity and financial health of the organization.

Encountering Loneliness

In the past, we may have brushed loneliness off as being inconsequential, having an off day, or going through something temporary. We might have ignored or refused to recognize it.

Life-threatening or life-changing illness, a change in life status such as becoming a new parent, newly retired, newly promoted, a new business owner, a change in schools, neighborhood, job, or a death in the family can cause loneliness.

Dominant members of society, namely those with power, influence, and money, use social stigma to keep people in line with social norms. The dominant society members consider those who deviate from established social norms as socially inept, losers, poorly adjusted, unlikeable, and needy, and as a result, lonely people are shamed and stigmatized.

The Impact of Loneliness

• Loneliness can be made worse at this time of year with family gatherings and celebrations.
• Lonely people send out vibes that cause others to turn and run from them because they are seen as needy.
• They talk about feeling both visible and invisible because they don’t fit in.
• They stop speaking to others and isolate themselves, creating a vicious cycle of loneliness. 
• According to psychologists, loneliness damages an individual’s ability to understand social interactions. The lonely become more isolated, suspicious, and withdrawn and have an increasingly negative worldview.  
• Research does not support the theory that loneliness results from poor social skills or a preference for being alone.

Why is Loneliness a Problem?

A study in the UK found people experiencing loneliness face barriers to sharing their feelings, including:

• Past negative or unhelpful responses when they shared their feelings,
• Fear of how others might react, including concerns about being judged, pitied, or perceived differently,
• Fear of burdening others, particularly for those who identified some form of care and support responsibility for family or friends and,
• A lack of opportunity or means to discuss loneliness.

Globally

According to The World Health Organization, loneliness is considered a global health threat and is as dangerous for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It is linked to a greater risk of depression, anxiety, dementia, heart disease, and diabetes. It increases the risk of death from heart attack or stroke by 30 percent; dementia by 40 percent; and type 2 diabetes by 50 percent. Getting a handle on loneliness is difficult because of the stigma of loneliness: it prevents people from asking for help, or telling others that they are lonely, and physicians don’t see it as relevant to a diagnosis.

For Organizations and Leaders

• Loneliness has reached global crisis recognition. Research from the UK has suggested that normalizing loneliness will help reduce the stigma and shame associated with it by understanding that it affects most people.
• Encourage people to start talking about loneliness.
• Change the language around loneliness, and remove phrases like: loser, unlikeable, and incompetent.

For Leaders

Leaders are lonely. Over 70% of new CEOs report feelings of loneliness because there are fewer peers to develop meaningful connections.  

It affects a leader’s mental health and well-being and can lead to burnout, depression, and anxiety. It can also impact a leader’s decision-making ability and make them less confident in their choices because they do not have the support and guidance they need.

For Workers

At work, loneliness reduces task performance, limits creativity, and impairs reasoning and decision-making.

The organization can experience turnover, reduced productivity, and burnout as a result.

Addressing the Problem

There isn’t anything new about dealing with loneliness, so,

• Be patient and kind with yourself and manage your internal messaging. Reframe how you see yourself and give yourself some grace.
• Take the initiative to invite others out for coffee, lunch, dinner, or a walk.
• Be the one to build a friendly community, neighborhood or workplace, get to know your neighbors and peers.
• Create meaningful connections. Find your people, those who want to spend time with you and support you. Don’t bother with those who don’t bother with you.
• Find what interests you and put your time and effort into it.
• Do something nice for someone else, or help someone in need.
• Take care of a pet.
• Get professional help if you need to.

Takeaway

Help remove the stigma and shame of loneliness. Be kind and patient since this is a particularly lonely time of year for some people. Reach out to someone in need and make a meaningful connection; it will make you both feel better.

Loneliness is a leadership issue since it affects the bottom line and impacts staff who are the backbone of the organization.